Name Change

I can’t believe that I’ve been married for nearly 8 1/2 months.  When people say “it goes so quickly”, they aren’t kidding. I remember reaching month 2 and then 3 and then 4, and I was thinking, “this isn’t flying by. People are so dramatic”. Here I am beginning to think about a 1 year anniversary plan, just wondering where the time has gone.

The time has been moving so quickly that I just haven’t made it to the Social Security office or the DMV to change my name. That’s it. Time is moving too fast.

…

Yep.

Okay, okay. It’s just SO weird to me. I’ve been a McGee my whole entire life. 27 years as a McGee and now I’m supposed to just make that name disappear and become a Botes!? (I don’t want to be hyphenated, by the way)

I’m not ashamed to be a Botes, and I’m certainly happy to be married. I get the idea of marriage and I do think the “take his name” tradition can seem quite romantic. It’s just that every time I sit down and seriously think, “I’ll change my name tomorrow”, I can’t. 

And my idea of both of become the McBotes was totally shot down. Come on. MCBOTES. It’s perfect. No?

Then it happened:
A couple of weeks ago my husband says, “So, are you going to change your name?” and I say, “yes, I will.” and he smiles and says, “When?” and I laugh and say “Definitely before we have kids :)” and then he stops smiling and doesn’t laugh and then he stops talking.

Shit.

So, I bring out all the excuses. “I’m just lazy. I don’t want to sit around those offices and wait and find paperwork and spend my whole day…”

“Well, what is it? You don’t like the name? What if my last name was different, would you have already changed it?”

This means that he actually didn’t listen to any of my excuses and just started spewing out what he’s most likely been thinking about for the last 8 months. Concluding that, regardless of what I say, it won’t matter because he clearly has to let me know what’s been on his mind.

I, of course, show sympathy. And then, like any great woman would do, I provide him an example of the situation to see what he would feel like in a different pair of shoes

“Pete, imagine your students at school calling you Mr. McGee. Think about it. Hi, Mr. McGee! Hey, Mr. McGee, can I sharpen my pencil?”

Isn’t that weird?!?!!?

“But, Kerry, the woman is supposed to change her name. That’s why calling me by a different last name sounds weird.”

“NO, ACTUALLY. IT SOUNDS WEIRD BECAUSE IT’S NOT YOUR LAST NAME! IT’S NOT THE NAME YOU’VE HAD YOUR WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE!”

Got him. Nailed it.

I fairly concluded with this:
So, while you will never understand what it’s like to have to even consider changing your name and identity, I will never understand what it’s like to have a feisty little Irish girl put off taking her handsome man’s name. 

We both lose.

Until:
Our dog has been having multiple vet visits (long story for another day) and since I got the dog before I was married all of her paperwork is under my name. And since I never changed my name, the paperwork has stayed the same. Anyway, the other day my husband had to go pick her up and the Vet said, “Right this way, Mr. McGee.”

And then Peter felt it. For real. What it would be like. 

::::SILENCE::::

I win.