Archive | November, 2011


13 Nov


Fly on the wall

13 Nov

I wish the fly on the wall had a tape recorder so that anytime I had a painful conversation with my husband, we could listen to it hours later and laugh.

The dreaded, “Where are we going to be on Christmas?” conversation happened yesterday. It was more awful than I imagined it would be. I was warned by several people that the holiday compromise is a huge challenge. I didn’t believe or listen to any of them. I was the asshole friend who told them all to learn how to communicate with one another. Duh.

My family is here. My husband’s family is in Texas. My husband is a school teacher who gets 2 weeks off for Christmas break. I am not.

Not only is this our first year together for the holidays as a married couple, it’s actually our first year spending the holidays together. Period. Last year he went home for both, Thanksgiving and Christmas and I stayed here. (We were engaged by the way. Stop me now, that’s a different conversation.)

Naturally, I tell him what I’d like to do, which means what we should do, which hopefully means what we are going to do. Start our own traditions as a family, get a real Christmas tree and wake up together on Christmas day in our real pine-scented home with our cute dog.

The tape recorder and the fly will come in handy right about now…

“So, if we stay here and celebrate together in our house, are we going to visit your family at all?”

“Well, yes. I would imagine that’s the obvious thing to do since my family lives here.”

“But, I won’t be seeing my family on Christmas. I just don’t know if it’s fair.”

“SO, when we go to Texas on Christmas day next year, remember to bring my BLIND FOLD. Since seeing them and not my family wouldn’t be fair.”

I really said that. He really brought me to a point where I had to say that. Seriously. Come on.

Anyway, long story short:
Traditions with my Huz and dog will start this year. In Las Vegas. On Christmas Day.

Moral of the story: The Holidays, from here on out, SUCK.


8 Nov

I always tell my Huz how lucky I am to have him around. I don’t tell him too much, because I really mean it. The overuse of THANK YOU, IM SO LUCKY! or I LOVE YOU MORE THAN LIFE!  just sort of kills it after a while.

Every now and then I hear stories from friends or television or whatever, that make me really appreciate what I have.

At lunch today I was eating with one of my coworkers who is 3 years older than I am and just celebrated her one year wedding anniversary. Well, she has been married for 1 year. Today she told me they didn’t actually celebrate, they just ate In-n-Out Burger because, “we need somethin’ to celebrate to celebrate. We didn’t make it anywhere yet.”

Depressing. Although, In-n-Out is sort of a celebration all by itself.  (A place with 5 things on the menu, a long-ass line any time of day and a buncha hype is a reason to celebrate in my book. )

I asked a few questions that prompted, what seemed to be the best venting session she’s had all year. Including how excited she is to come to work even though she has a job she doesn’t really care for, because that’s how miserable she is at home. Over the last few months he’s been checking her cell phone, calling her every 15 minutes if she’s not home, calling her work phone non-stop to see where she is and what she’s doing because work can’t be that busy, etc. He goes “to work out” for 6 hours at a time, she can’t touch his cell phone or his things, etc.

The worst part was that I gave her my opinion (luckily it’s the same as her mom, dad and best friends opinion) and the look in her eyes was as if I just taught her the answer to a math problem that had been taking her months to solve. It clicked. She got it. She heard it one more time…just what she needed to hear. It made me so sad to see her figure out that her marriage is most likely failing and she knows exactly why. I’m not trying to air someones dirty laundry by any means, but this is not the first friend I know that’s been through this.

It really makes me beyond appreciative that when it comes to being married to the man of my dreams, I just don’t have anything worthy to complain about. I know a good relationship/marriage/friendship is never easy and I certainly understand that we haven’t been married long enough to give advice. I’m not saying that we’ve never bickered or argued or wanted to scream. But, I do know that we don’t need to worry about drama.

I’m happy that we are friends, we are a team and we are making it.


8 Nov

Common things continue to make me feel “old” and “boring”. These things include but are not limited to:

Not wanting to go out to clubs or bars, ever again.
Speaking of…being completely okay with never getting drunk again. (Thank God)
Goodbye, low-cut shirts.
Spending my Saturday evenings on the couch watching shows via DVR or reading a book right before my self-implemented 10pm bedtime.
Being away from my house and missing my dog. (This probably just makes me crazy.)
Looking at teenagers Facebook updates and literally shaking my head.
Crockpot recipes make me really,really happy.
Noticing that Halloween pictures via Facebook weren’t slutty anymore. They were made for children or people just didn’t give a shit.

At first, I noticed these changes happening slowly. Now, I’m noticing changes every single day. My late twenties are staring me down and slapping me in the face and I’m not sure I’ve ever been happier.

It really does get better and better.

My little nephew

1 Nov


If this picture was posted on Pinterest, it’d get the shit pinned out of it.


1 Nov

Today at work I asked my coworker, who has two children, what they’re dressing as to go trick or treating tonight.  She says to me, “we celebrated last night because I actually hate people.”

I catch myself staring at her without saying any words. It was an accident but, seriously? What do I say…that’s nice?

I’ll go for more questions.

“OH! What did you guys do last night?”

“I made them a scavenger hunt in the backyard. They found candy and stuff. My mom came over and took some pictures.”

Well, that’s nice at least. However, you have children. And your dislike for the human race, who probably act the same exact way that you do, shouldn’t make your cute kids suffer from celebrating popular traditions.

Especially because you still gave them candy, but you were just mean about it and made them actually look for it in your yard. You can’t take a tradition from a different holiday and make it your own. Reusing traditions? COME ON, YOU HAVE KIDS.

Apparently this isn’t unusual, considering we only got about 10 kids knocking on our door. My husband is a school teacher and most of the kids said they are going “TRUNK OR TREATING” at the mall, or a well-lit parking lot or a police station. I think safety is important, but I don’t think the tradition needs to change.

On the news they were advertising apps for your smart phone that show you all the registered sex offenders in certain areas. Yes, technology is beautiful and clearly we have way too much information at the tip of our fingers. That is understandable. However, I did get pissed when the newscasters said “make sure your kids have this app before they go out. Show them how to use the app so they understand where they are going.”

Those parents are even too lazy for a weak-ass scavenger hunt so they just send their kids by themselves with a smart phone and a sex offender app.

I can’t handle it.